The Expendables
Movie Information
An all-star cast of action-movie icons headline this explosive action thriller about a group of hard-nosed mercenaries who are double-crossed during a treacherous mission. Approached by the shadowy Church to overthrow tyrannical South American dictator General Gaza and restore order to the troubled island country of Vilena, stoic soldier of fortune Barney Ross rounds up an unstoppable team that includes former SAS soldier and blade specialist Lee Christmas; martial arts expert Yin; trigger-happy Hale Caesar; demolitions expert Toll Road and haunted sniper Gunnary Jensen. Rated: [MA]
Cinema Release: 12 Aug 2010
Director: Sylvester Stallone
Running Time: 103 mins
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mickey Rourke, Sylvester Stallone
Cinema Release: 12 Aug 2010
Director: Sylvester Stallone
Running Time: 103 mins
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mickey Rourke, Sylvester Stallone
| Movie Review
Rating: 
NO ONE in their right mind expected the heights of cinematic excellence from The Expendables, the latest retro-fitted vehicle for veteran action star Sylvester Stallone.
However, clever pre-release marketing -- playing up the presence of Stallone's he-men peers of yesteryear such as Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis and Dolph Lundgren -- has generated a lot of ironic goodwill towards the picture.
So if The Expendables could work on a so-bad-it's-good level, then a majority of action fans would be happy enough.
Instead, under the uncreative control of Stallone as director, writer and leading man, the film bullseyes so-bad-it's-sad from the get-go. The precision with which it just keeps hitting that unwanted target is spooky.
Unfortunately, The Expendables is simply a deplorable mess, ineptly thrown together and inertly unexciting.
The much-ballyhooed "return" of Schwarzenegger, who joins Willis briefly for a few quick quips with Stallone, is a bit of a fizzer. All you get is a single scene in a church, in which a half-funny gag is made about Arnie's political career.
The featured cast (comprised of Jason Statham, Jet Li, some wrestlers and ultimate fighters of moderate repute, and assorted D-listers such as Eric Roberts) rarely give the impression they're all that interested in what is going on.
Just another payday, then.
Actually, there is one notable exception who does earn his keep: the incomparable Dolph Lundgren.
The former running mate of Jean-Claude Van Damme (a notable, but wise absentee from the cast) is the sole participant in The Expendables who not only gets the joke that should have been cracked here, but also blunders ahead and tells it anyway.
However, this is very much Stallone's movie, which he goes ahead and ruins with his terrible non-acting and that eerie, mobilised-waxwork appearance he is now sporting.
Seriously, with Stallone's diminished reflexes and complete lack of connection to his surrounds, you could be forgiven for thinking you are watching a crash-test dummy made up to look like Sly.
As for The Expendables' story of a group of mercenaries on a suicide mission to South America, well, it's a moronic throwback to the gory glory days of Stallone's own Rambo series.
By comparison, the recent throwaway action hit The A-Team plays like The Godfather Parts I, II and III against this third-rate tripe.
A US advertising campaign for The Expendables which has been running throughout 2010 warns viewers that there is so much testosterone in the movie, they should "prepare to have a Man-gasm!"
In the interests of public safety, producers may soon have to tweak the ads to warn viewers there is so much stupidity in the movie, they could get struck down by a Man-eurysm.
NO ONE in their right mind expected the heights of cinematic excellence from The Expendables, the latest retro-fitted vehicle for veteran action star Sylvester Stallone.
However, clever pre-release marketing -- playing up the presence of Stallone's he-men peers of yesteryear such as Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis and Dolph Lundgren -- has generated a lot of ironic goodwill towards the picture.
So if The Expendables could work on a so-bad-it's-good level, then a majority of action fans would be happy enough.
Instead, under the uncreative control of Stallone as director, writer and leading man, the film bullseyes so-bad-it's-sad from the get-go. The precision with which it just keeps hitting that unwanted target is spooky.
Unfortunately, The Expendables is simply a deplorable mess, ineptly thrown together and inertly unexciting.
The much-ballyhooed "return" of Schwarzenegger, who joins Willis briefly for a few quick quips with Stallone, is a bit of a fizzer. All you get is a single scene in a church, in which a half-funny gag is made about Arnie's political career.
The featured cast (comprised of Jason Statham, Jet Li, some wrestlers and ultimate fighters of moderate repute, and assorted D-listers such as Eric Roberts) rarely give the impression they're all that interested in what is going on.
Just another payday, then.
Actually, there is one notable exception who does earn his keep: the incomparable Dolph Lundgren.
The former running mate of Jean-Claude Van Damme (a notable, but wise absentee from the cast) is the sole participant in The Expendables who not only gets the joke that should have been cracked here, but also blunders ahead and tells it anyway.
However, this is very much Stallone's movie, which he goes ahead and ruins with his terrible non-acting and that eerie, mobilised-waxwork appearance he is now sporting.
Seriously, with Stallone's diminished reflexes and complete lack of connection to his surrounds, you could be forgiven for thinking you are watching a crash-test dummy made up to look like Sly.
As for The Expendables' story of a group of mercenaries on a suicide mission to South America, well, it's a moronic throwback to the gory glory days of Stallone's own Rambo series.
By comparison, the recent throwaway action hit The A-Team plays like The Godfather Parts I, II and III against this third-rate tripe.
A US advertising campaign for The Expendables which has been running throughout 2010 warns viewers that there is so much testosterone in the movie, they should "prepare to have a Man-gasm!"
In the interests of public safety, producers may soon have to tweak the ads to warn viewers there is so much stupidity in the movie, they could get struck down by a Man-eurysm.
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